Just an ordinary day

The past few days I’ve been out sick from work. If you only knew the struggle I had in the decision to call in sick which is something that shouldn’t be a struggle at all. My mind plays tricks on me. I currently have Laryngitis; an upper respiratory tract infection. However, as the sickness was brewing in my system, I didn’t know the actual extent of it all. All I knew was that I can’t call in sick. I never do. Always so mindful. Always so considerate. Trying to make people happy. Make my patients happy. Ugh. Torture is what it was. Knowing full well what the schedule the next day was going to be like and the damage it would cause if I didn’t show up. Yuck. Fear. I was afraid that I would be letting people down. How dumb. Thank God for putting amazing people in my life who love me enough to talk some freakin’ sense into me. DUH. If I’m sick then I’m putting myself at greater risk of becoming sicker, and moreover, putting my already sick patients in greater danger. I guess I’m not used to having the tables turned. Me? A patient?

The verdict: I called in sick. To my surprise it wasn’t even an issue. The department got coverage and everything was okay. Although I am not looking forward to a pile of labs sheets to process on my desk. At least I know the procedures were done, patients were seen, and everything on my end is okay. I haven’t regained my voice completely yet. I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow. Hopefully that wont be a problem and that my patients don’t mind the raspiness. Eh. They’ll have to deal with it. All in all, this whole ordeal, as stupid as it was, was a learning experience. I can be so stubborn. I was always that kid in group projects that did all of the work because I felt if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be to its full potential. And c’mon, my grade would be riding on it, so I had to take control. I don’t think it’s selfish. I think it’s only fair. In the workplace I would feel the same. In the Interventional Pulmonology department there are only 3 Registered Nurses. With 1 out, it makes a world of difference. I would feel as though the work could not be done at the optimum level. I needed to get over this. I needed to get over that fact that if it were someone else who was sick they would call in sick without hesitation. Without feelings of remorse or anything. I needed to realize that the department will go on with or without me. Haha. Whatevs. I’m actually sick, so there’s no argument or conviction. There shouldn’t be. I figured it out.

Stern. Relief.

p.s. I can’t believe I actually blogged about this. Gross.

I blame UCI & OR scrubs for losing my phone. Bahumbug.

Aspergillus in the air. Aspergillus everywhere.

Aspergillus (IPA: ˌæspəˈdʒɪləs) is a genus consisting of several hundred mold species found in various climates worldwide. Aspergillus species cause serious disease in humans and animals. The most common causing pathogenic species are Aspergillus fumigatus and Aspergillus flavus. Aspergillus flavus produces aflatoxin which is both a toxin and a carcinogen, and which can potentially contaminate foods such as nuts

Dear Aspergillus,

Please stop killing people. Please.

P.S. You are scum. I hate you.

-Krys

I’m taking a vacation from the dungeon, the hospital, the doctors, the patients, the grind. I haven’t been this excited in a long time & on so many levels. My first real vacation in 3 years. Sigh. I think I deserve it.

1. Acute Respiratory Failure
2. Leukemia
3. Massive GI bleed
4, Tracheal Obstruction
5. Small Cell Carcinoma
6. Tracheal Stenosis
7. Atelectasis

My exhausting day doesn’t compare to the lives of precious patients.

I should never complain.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned labs in the past. Just to reiterate, when it comes to my work outside of the clinical setting, I am assigned the responsibility of labs. Whenever we have a procedure, I am responsible for following up on the lab results of the patients we take specimens from. Biopsies & what not. What infections they’ve contracted, what bacteria is growing, what their diagnosis is. We distinguish this by color on our Laboratory Excel worksheet by color. Highlighting in yellow means that the lab results are preliminary & we must wait to find out the final results. Green means that the results are final. Pink means cancer.

I hate pink right now.

It’s been coming up frequently.  It breaks my heart to have to log in, find the result, and highlight the patients name in pink.

To add, some of those patients don’t pop up initially when I type in their medical record number into the patient search engine to find out their results. This is because you have to un-check the box that says “exclude deceased”.

I don’t know how some people think healthcare is easy. I suppose if you’re heartless.

It’s amazing how a code blue can make you feel at the time the patient is coding. What’s more amazing is the feeling when the code is over & the patient lives.

God is good :)

Today I worked in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. I did it to make up for the trip I went on to NY, but more so for a friend from the unit who needed the day off emergently ( since weddings are emergent). ICU is home to me. This is where I started out as a brand spankin new nurse, straight out of school. This is the first time I’ve worked there since I moved on to Interventional Pulmonology. It was nice to be back & enjoy the familiar faces. Bedside nursing is definitely something else though. The shift started off well. I had my little Filipino man who was confused and kept wanting to go home. He was only there because they needed to rule out stroke. His wish was granted & it was ruled out. But his exit was grand. He kept wandering around in & out of his hospital bedroom. Undoing his IV lines & unhooking himself from the monitor. He asked me a lot of questions.

Him: Are you Filipina?

Me: Yes.

Him: How old are you?

me: 24.

Him: Are you married?

Me: No.

Him: Can you marry my son?

Me: No. I have a boyfriend.

Him: That’s nice. Is he Filipino?

Me: Yes.

Him: Are you Filipina?

Hahaha. Anyways this man was so antsy to leave. He wanted to leave to go to mass. He said he attended St. Joseph’s & he didn’t want to be late. He eventually got discharged. Unfortunately it was an hour after his mass had started. Luckily he didn’t get upset. He had forgotten, because he’s confused. I found that amusing.

My other patient was good to me the whole first 11 hours. No complaints. No problems. Especially considering how many times I had to draw her blood. She slept most of the time. She didn’t speak a word of English. Spanish only. But still, it was pleasant. She was compliant with her plan of care. Up until the 12th hour. 6PM she’s moaning and groaning that she has chest pain, she can’t breathe, her vital signs were critical. I start her on oxygen & I load her with the appropriate meds and nothing works. We come to find its fluid overload from when she was admitted. It just so happened to hit her all at one time. When the incoming nurse came in I had to give report, but I’m sure this patient will end up intubated by tonight.

Things can change in an instance. I’m just saying.

Work has been such a downer lately. Yesterday in the operating room, 1 of my favorite patients wasn’t able to have her procedure done due to her inability to be intubated. She had been intubated in the past, however, Anesthesia was unsuccessful this time around, causing borderline laryngospasm. The choice to continue to bronch here was way too risky, and she now has to come back for another procedure. A more invasive one, to add. She has a new undiagnosed lymph node which was supposed to be biopsied and sampled. We never got around to it. She’s an ex-RN, has a very young child, supportive husband, and stage 4. Talk about a great combination. When she woke up from anesthesia the first thing she asked was “Did we get the sample?” I said, “Unfortunately we were not able to proceed with the biopsy”. When she gained enough strength she sat up in the operating table and began to cry. I did my best to comfort her. But then, I myself started to tear, so I had to turn away.

The second case we did yesterday was a stent placement. The surgery went well. Today the patient herself is not well. The doctor suspects she will not make it by the end of the day. Tomorrow I am taking a shift in the ICU & I may be assigned this patient. I guess I’ll find out what God’s will for her is. I can only pray.

It’s the end of the day here at work and while updating the follow-up log I came across something unfortunate. A patient we had been seeing the past couple months has expired. She passed away yesterday. A very sweet lady.
It’s amazing how much this job entails. Every day I come home with a new story, a new testimony, a new learning experience. I know God put me here for a reason.

Thursdays. Long days. 13 hour days. What was supposed to be a 1 1/2 hour long Rigid bronchoscopy with possible stent placement became a 4 hour long surgery because of bleeding in the bronchus of the right lung. It felt like the day would never finish. Only it was the first of 4 OR cases of the day. Unfortunatley, because there were 2 other inpatient bronchoscopies today, the last OR case didn’t even happen. The tricky part is, Friday isn’t Pulmonary OR day, which means the case needs to be pushed back towards the end of the day. The problem that lies here is that one of the inpatients that had a bronchoscopy today also needs surgery. If not soon, her airway will completely close. And that’s it for her. Now the question is, do we keep the non-urgent patient who’s surgery got canceled today on schedule for tomorrow, or do we do the woman who may not make it through the weekend. Sadly, the latter. Ugh politics of healthcare. It makes no sense to me.

whack.